desertroot: A rose that is rainbow-colored, leaves in the background (rainbow)
[personal profile] desertroot
A Quote from a recent entry:

"There's recently been a push to say that otherkin and trans are completely different.  However, while they definitely aren't the same and there are some pretty serious differences in how the two things interact with society* .  There's still definitely a lot overlap and some possibilities for talking and learning."

So here's an "Open Thread" for Trans people, 'Kin (Otherkin, therians etc.) and others with similar issues to talk and compare notes.

The people who seemed interested were Trans AND 'Kin, but you don't have to be both to talk here.  Just if you AREN'T Trans, don't try and tell the trans people what it's like to be trans.  And likewise, if you aren't 'Kin, don't make assumptions about what their feelings are. 

Basically - please listen and be respectful.

Date: 2016-01-19 04:19 am (UTC)
monsterboy: (dragon mask)
From: [personal profile] monsterboy
This is a nice thing to have. <3

(Disclaimer: trans and 'kin here.)

I think the thing that just always rubs up on me is how hard it is to talk about the 'kin side of things when it comes to dysphoria. Sure, you can't talk about trans things to everyone, or in every circumstance, and I still hide a lot - not correcting people on pronouns, etc. - because I'm too socially anxious to stand up and make a fuss.

But compared to the spaces where it's acceptable to talk about 'kin-related dysphoria... well, I mean, you had to make this thread for a reason.

Trans communities will laugh at you. I've even tried reaching out to other, less understood trans-(fill in the blank) spaces, like the transabled community (which is very much misunderstood and mostly consists of people who, like many of us dysphorics, have a deep, gnawing sense of wrongness about their physical bodies that they're trying to ameliorate in any way possible), but they probably thought I was trolling.

Even in the otherkin and therian communities, it feels like it's looked at as a sign of weakness or "fluffiness", something to overcome rather than discuss at length. The optimal state of being is "otherkin and well-adjusted, with no mental problems related to that. And I get why it's that way for PR reasons, but it means there aren't many sympathetic places you can go and be like, "I'm having a bad dysphoria day". Which I think is very much a needed outlet.

It just... when you look at it, it feels ridiculous, you know? Even to me. I hear people saying "I have wing dysphoria" or "my phantom tail is really bugging me", and even though I've been there I think it sounds kooky. It sounds kooky when I say it myself. "I'm not happy in my body because I wish it were more reptilian." I mean... what? I can't really blame people for not knowing what to do with that feeling.

And yet it does exist. And I think - I don't know, but it probably sounded kooky and perverse and laughable to dysphoric trans people at the start of things, too. When there wasn't already a community willing to say, "no, it's okay, you're not some horrible sinner, you're not a freak of nature, you are real and valid as what you are", but they had to go it alone - to decide more or less alone, without anything in the way of advice or medical help or anything more than a few supportive friends if they were lucky, that they wanted to undergo this drastic step of changing how people addressed them, changing their name, maybe changing their body. That must have been so frightening, and I'm glad that by the time I discovered myself as trans, it wasn't like that any more.

But it makes me wonder - if we did have a more supportive community when it came to this kind of dysphoria, if we did have a wider recognition that "species dysphoric" is one of the things you can be, an understanding that for some people it isn't something they can just brush under the couch on the way to becoming Fully Functional, Mature 'Kin - would it seem less laughable? Would we stop looking at ourselves with such disdain and disbelief? Would we have more faith, less fear, more self-love?

I don't know. Mostly I'm just musing out loud. I don't have any real answers on these topics, especially since species transition is... not a doable thing, really. Just a lot of thoughts.

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